Monday, June 30, 2003

i think hayley and matts blogs r very intriging. they are so honest, especially since they are reading each others. if i had a boyfriend and he read my blogs, i think i would leave alot out of my blog about us just cause itd b wierd reading all that about someone you were with on the internet.

wow, i just checked webstats 4 the first time in ages and somehow i beat mays stats. thats so cool. and my biggest day was the 23rd when i wrote all that stuff in reply to james about girls. well isnt that interesting, maybe i should write about women more often. i wonder if it would have the same effect if i wrote about guys.

today is my day off, and my mums birthday and the last night il spend in my house for a few days. going to go housesit and babysit a family from church cause the parents are going away. now im not sure of the blogging situation but i should be at my house during some of the day so ill blog and email then i think. i feel like im going on camp or something.

sal is taking me on a date this week, should be good to catch up. shes a very cool chick. i havent heard from sarah in ages, i hope she didnt try 2 email me when my internet was gone and my inbox was full. and also chris hasnt replied from a few weeks ago, oh dear, the problems that occur with no interent. and also, now my phone is not working, what is going on? communication companies dont seem to want me to communicate. i called up the phone ppl and they couldnt talk to me cause i didnt have the password or something, mum will be back soon to work out that problem.

i wrote to posts last night that didnt appear, i take back what i said ab0out new blogger to ryan, it sucks

Sunday, June 29, 2003

also i do talk about food alot

i think i should not be friends with staff members at church. tonight, on the phone to helen, she said something about how what we were talking about could be classified as work, and she gets paid to talk to me, and then i remembered that tom said last night that he only gets paid to talk to me so she said that the church decided that since no one would really be friends with me so they paid herself and tom to befriend me. isnt that nice? now doesnt jo feel great? AND on top of that, no one will tell me the stupid word! whats an adjective with 3 letters that starts with a N and has no vowels? and would be uised in a phrase to the ____ noun??????? help me out, if u know please email me at cause all these ppl who get paid to be my friends wont tell me

i really do love sundays

i just had lunch with my mum cause its her birthday 2morrow, was nice. we went to my pub for lunch which is very unoriginal of us but its yum and we felt like mash potato from there. unfortunatly there was so mash today, bummer. but it was good anyway, i drank a beer, she drank a west coast cooler, i had some chicken and she had some salad. i dont usually like beer but ive discovered i do enjoy corona with lime. mums r cool. im glad i get along with her now, we used to fight heaps. much bettter getting along i think. now i am off 2 church 4 a meeting, should be fun, we r working on unboxed 4 blackstump. we better be in blackstump since we are planning so much 4 it. well even if we arent we can put it all in the concert.

i saw kara up at work aswell, we had good chat. shes not very happy 2day cause she has to say goodbye to tim who is going back to orange. poor kaz. we went to maccas though. i didnt eat, she did. if i had eaten that would make it 3 maccas eats in 1 day. now who was it that said girls dont eat mcdonalds? oh yes yes i think i have definatly proved that theory wrong

maccas was lots of fun, helen came too, lovely stuff really. jess and lucy told me a nonesense story and we ate ice cream 4 breakfast, yum yum, thats always the way. i hope jess's mum doesnt think im a bad influence, ive taught her 2 eat chips on sandwhichs, eat ice cream fro breakfast, play games on my phone when shes suposed to do her homework and use my phone 2 do her maths homework, all in the 6 or so months ive been looking after her and her brother, thats pretty good going i think. maybe i should reconsider what i pass on to kids i look after.

im sick of being ambiguous, ambiguity bring anxiousness

Saturday, June 28, 2003

i could have probebly given a much better recount without so many long sentances and commas but thats ok

david asked me to give a recount of this evenings was a good night, we watched a video, i felt the weight of randomness upon me, then we caught a train, began to chat with people, felt less random, then watched the hulk which i thought was a 2 thumbs down, but ate lots of popcorn so that made it good, then walked to the resturant and ate lots of garlic bread, pizza, pasta coke and a red wine, felt full. met stella and keith, on top of the other 10 or so new ppl that i met, slowly began to understand all the connections around the table i was sitting at - i think ive finally got it all though. was wierd meeting people i already knew alot about, after din dins we walked back to the train station with a quick stop for ice cream and donuts for howie and chris then got on the train, got off the train, waited for my mum, then went home feeling almost non random. although it was a little of a scary adventure it was well worth it, even if just for scientific purposes, our own little social experiement.

Friday, June 27, 2003

no more blogging 2nite, this morning or whatever time frame we r in. sleep, sleep in 2morrow and get up and go do something a little scary.

i worked alot today, i let the boys run drama on there own cause i stayed at work in between shifts, i hope they did ok. it was time to let them out of the nest. i went 2 rachs bday party afta work 2nite aswell. it was somewhat interesting, wierd the old group being all there, strange the way people were acting, some as if it was still all the same as a year ago and some finding it uncomfortable to pretend and others like me, who were 2 tired to really bother with the politics. i hate how everything changes without u wanting it to. i say the world should change when i tell it to, none of this running around without my permission, that would be better thanku

im ready to write about abortion now, i do think its wrong, i could never fatham doing such a thing. but im not sure what measure one would take about this issue. i wouldnt suggest banning it, i think i would be against banning it, people need choices. i dont think people should have sex till they r ready 2 have kids, but thats just a lovely thing to say, it really doesnt stop anyone having sex or change the fact that girls still get pregnant and feel they have no other option. what i do think is that people should need a licsence to have kids. u need a license for everything else, but the most important job in the world. i think thats odd and very unbalanced. people shoukdnt have kids till they r older, wiser and stable, people shouldnt have sex till there older wiser and sable, BUT people r still going to have sex, therefore people r still going to get preganant, so do we stop obortions and have a whole lot more screwed up kids that have parents that werent ready 2 have them? or do we have society thinking killing unborn children is ok? i dont think abortion should be used as a means to protect society. controlling life to control society is getting a bit severe and a certain si-fi feeling to it.

Thursday, June 26, 2003

that sounded wrong, i didnt mean that the post she posted was uneducated

i was going to write a post about abortion after reading hayleys but im to tired to be thoughtful or educated

i am really very over work right now. it is all so political. sarah cried tonight cause people in the kitchen were being mean. there is so much backstabbing and upsettness, its draining. i did lunch and dinner yesterday, lunch and dinner today and im doing lunch and dinner tomorrow, now i know im having a little winge here but oh my goodness, thats just silly. but i have decided i am going to get along with bill. he doesnt like tea so i cant use that trick i learnt with paul. all i can think of he likes is disrespecting women, but im not about to subdue to that just to get along with him. working with him almost makes me wanna turn into a feminist...whatver that may be

well im not quiet sure what a feminist is either, but they seem to get a fair bit of bad publicity. i just dont really want to be labelled as one cause i dont really think there is a need for feminism anymore, women have a place is society, and its not that i have anything to say about, its more some peoples attitudes to a range of things, women just being one of them.

i was at home group the other night and we were discussing if there were any grounds for a homosexual to be ordained. we decided no, cause the bible is pretty clear bout homosexuality, and by becoming a minister with all this been said, he is saying "here is my sin, im choosing to continue living in it", which isnt the best. but we were really discussing how much the church should keep up with the times and in doing that how can they do that sticking to the bible and what God wants. one guy pointed out that the church has been full on serious with some stuff in the past like burning people at the stake, segregating aborignals etc etc, and have turned out to be terribly wrong and inhumane and now as we look back we think how could they do that? so this dude was saying, what if we look back on this as "oh how could we do that?" we had a great disscussion but we still decided it would not be good.

and whats with odd looking blogger?

IM BACK! yay 4 the internet being at my house

Monday, June 23, 2003

if im not back in the next few days send out a search party!

time 4 jo 2 go back 2 her home with no internet, im sure there r billions of worse things not 2 have at ur hpme like food or blankets but it still feels poo

pete is harrassing me 2 put more drama stuff on, i cant, i dont have the time, its just not practical, but i feel bad

i had heaps of fun at church yesterday, i think the sunday morning group went well, it felt like it went weller than the weeks b4, and i had fun, they r just so cute. sunday nite was good 2, i was a tad hyper, probably all those cocopops and custard (thanx tom). we did our usual trip 2 maccas afta, and i ate maccas, yes yes i did. and then they turned the lights out on us again and we stood outside again. i enjoyed the evening throughly. xcept 4 the fact that the thought of getting up really early was lurking over my head. work wasnt that bad. ive made friends now. this one guy there daniel, hes awesome, i love working with him, really crazy boy. i keep saying the wrong things around him by accident though, like i was pouring juice and it was really thick and i said "come out u big gay head", he looked at me funny and then we laughed. damiels gay, sorry that bit makes the story half funny, i cant be bothered to change it

by the way, my internet is not back, i am being very cultural and i am in an internet cafe. i saw it as i was walking 2 the bus stp afta work and i ran up the stairs and felt like a goose cause i didnt know how it worked

one more thing, i would so rather eat macdonalds then sme fancy resturant and also i dont take ages 2 get ready, the girls from work and i can get ready in 10mins after work, thats very good. i bet boys take longer than that

girls dont suck, yes some girls r mean and lead guys on BUT girls say the same things about guys. im comclusion, there r some guys that suck and some girls that suck, actually probably no1 really sucks if we were going to be all nice and christian about it, maybe people of both genders make mistakes and b mean, but that doesnt mean all of one gender or the other r all like that person.

and the weight thing, alot of girls, like alot of guys, r sensitive about their appearence 4 a stage of their lives or their whole lives, now 2 b objective, and not personal here, i dont think its generally a good idea 2 tell girls they r ugly fat or put on wieght etc etc, im sure guys get heaps offended aswell but a large percentage of my friends have taken it to extremes with eating disorders etc etc, not good. some guys (SOME) really dont understand the effect they have on girls, i dont think its healthy that girls get so offended or guys say these things, and vica versa (guy girl, girl guy yada yada)
newayz, i thought id share that as james was saying how ud b dead meat if u said a girl had put on weight, and also cause one of the girls in 9/10 drama was talking 2 me about this sorta stuff the other day.

why does stuff have 2 b pver analyised? why cant a guy and girl just b 2gether instead of some1 always having to take initiative? that would b much better

i am a girl and i like mcdonalds...actaully i like macdonalds alot.

i do apologise james, i am not picking on u, im just tossing my opinion into the meldting pot

oh my goodness, i have so so mcuh to say, james james james, as a girl, i would like to say that a)every girl is different, b)things like paying 4 stuff and deciding what 2 do shouldnt really matter in a proper relationsip and c)well lots more but ill get to that later, now this paying buisness...hmmm...personally i dont like it, its ok if the guy is just doing it as a romantic gesture or whatever but when it becomes so obbsessive that everything u do and buy when ur out 2gether he has 2 pay 4 it just makes u feel like he thinks u cant survive without him - it becomes more of a feed-a-male-ego-and-remind-him-that-he-is-needed sort of thing. this is something that really bothers me on a personal level cause i went out with this guy that made me feel like i was a child he needed to look after rather than a person he was suposed 2 b in a relationship with. its all about ur motives. i really think that when u r in a relationship that works it should all just flow naturally, stuff that isnt important like whp pays, etc etc shouldnt be an issue, it should just b a mutual respect thing, who cares if ur a guy and im a girl, last time i checked we r both still classified as the same species.

and b4 ne1 says nething - i am not being a feminist im just saying u can be mutually respectful and still old fashioned sweet, its all about the motives.

Sunday, June 15, 2003

sending emails just doesnt do talking justice, i dont think i can make internetional calls from my home phone, i bet its heapsheaps expensive from a mobile, mayb i will call up my optus and ask him what my internetional calls thibng is from home.

i think im just about ready 2 give up my life and start again atm, i dont mean kill myself, but just give up all these jobs and stuff that arent connected to whats really important for me. not that everything one does in their lives in going to be important to them, doing the shopping isnt really that important apart from the food bit os always good 2 stay living. i think id like to quit boost, and i think i may even consider quitting babysitting, even though i love it, but if i didnt have that on i could go and do some volenteer work, id still love to go 2 villawood, or try out lotsa stuff, just get some experience, i really wanna just do that all the time. oh dont the practicalities of life really suck sometimes!? im just feeling really blah bout everything right now, i feel like ive lost the page or something, not the whole plot, justy 4got where i was upto in the book maybe. who knows, i think il work it out

im waiting 4 some1 to vcome over and kick me off the internet cause i think ive been here 4 2 long, oops, i just wanna fit a few more emails in.

my internet is broke, so no blogging 4 jo, except 4 right now when i was walking past the library and decided it would be a good idea to do some emailling and stuff. sunday morning group this morning was interesting. its hard to judge, my talk was better than the 1 before and so was the game, they actually prayed in small groups on their own and alot of them seemed to take that bit seriously. but on the other hand, they talked and made alot of noise, and there was a large proportion of time where they were not listening or wanting to be doing whatever we were doing at that time. we played alot of that game bang, i dunno if games where u shoot ppl and die are appropriate in a church group, it actually didnt cross my mind till after. i play it all the time in drama workshops and stuff at church and no one has said nething 2 me then, im sure every1s ok, i dont think i harmed anuyone for life.
we also played dead soilders, dude thats a good game! the whole purpose is to be still and quiet, i was definatly loving that game, good on tim 4 suggesting it.

i had lunch with sarah today, we had a good talk bout stuff. i love that i have friends that respect me and accept what i beleive and what that means. its good, its even gooder when they wanna know stuff and we can chat about that, i like that muchley.

Tuesday, June 10, 2003

kara is so the best, she rang me after she finished tafe tonight and said that she was gonna come say hi and she was buying me some pasta. how good is that? pasta is the best. we sat in the street next to my house and ate pasta and had a good chat. we always sit in that street and chat, its very cool. i spoke to tara tonight aswell, that was good, its good to know that ive still got her, i was speaking to sal and we were talking about how once ur really close to someone u dont ever loose that friendship completly, like things change but if u know someone that well, ul always have something with that person forever. maybe thats a little fairy taleish, but i reckon its still true.

nick and kara broke up fully the other day and now he has decided he is going to go race his SL80 that goes real fast that he bought last week at eastern creek tomorrow night. i think thats silly, i really dont want him to go hurt himself cause he is upset. why do guys do that? as soon as something is too much they need to go hit something or some one or drive fast. that is a bit of a generalisation but it is true in a vast majority of cases.

i think blogger is having issues. i slept in till 12 again today, lost my mobile, found my mobile, ate some toast, talked to kara and then my mum on the phone, and decided i sleep too little at night and too much in the day.

Monday, June 09, 2003

that was a really long post. i stumbled across the copy of the police statements i have today, and i was just thinking about it all again,

when i was in yr 12, on the sunday night of the last week of classes, i went driving with the boys that go driving on sunday nights. we go down to palm beach and sometimes they see whos car is the fastest and sometimes we get 2 distract them from cars and we play soccer on the beach. its alot of fun. one night though, this man, b0out 40yrs old, with 1 thong, was sitting in his car on the other side of the road where we were parked. he asked us 2 turn down the music cause he didnt like it....well he didnt put it so nicely, but we turned down the music and tried not 2 make a fuss. well he still wasnt happy with our music and got a sling shot out of his car and started hitting rocks on the cars. he started 2 get agressive so a few of the guys walked over towards him 2 try and sort out the problem. everyone started to pay attention. he got really angry and the guys started to get all macho, so i stepped forward and tried 2 difuse the situation, he told me that he would break both my knee caps and screamed other obsenities. at the time all i thought was that the guys needed 2 calm down and that this guy was no danger to us, it was a stupid thing 2 step forward now i think about it. anway, he got progressively more and more angry, threatening us with different weapons, mainly a metal pole but he did throw in that he had a gun in his car. he got out this big metal pole and hit my friends arms as he blocked his head. he then hit some of the cars, smashing windows and lights. some of the guys that could get to the cars then moved them further up the beach. there were a few of us left trying 2 get into our cars and drive away but it was hard because at this stage he was running around the cars trying 2 hit anything and anybody. he almost hit me. i was on the phone to the police and he was walking towards me, he was so close i couldnt turn around and run so i was just moving as fast as i could backwards. he swung a few times, and it just missed me. if he had hit me i wouldve fallen over and who knows what wouldve haoppened and what if he had had a gun and pulled it out. i couldve died. its wierd how people act in a situation like that. we all completly freaked out. out of the 15 of us 9 of us were on the phone to the cops, only 4 were left at that end of the beach, 2 were actually hit, 2 people ran away very quickley, 1 confronted him, but apart from that, out of the 15, 12 were guys, not little guys all were between 19 and 21, but no one tried 2 stop him. u would think, with 12 guys, they could overpower one crazy man. he was charged with 4 counts of assult, drink driving, and possesion od illegal weapons,

this night also still teaches me alot about forgiveness and how different christian attitudes should be to the world. some of the guys were really angry when he got off with a good behaviour bond. at first i was angry, i did feel like jusitce wasnt done and that the legal system was unfair. but i was also speaking 2 one of the police officers a few moths later and they were saying how he had a mental illness (scitzophrenia but i dont know how 2 spell it) and he was on alot of prescribed medicence and seeing phyhciatrists etc and that he worked as a uni lecturer, and it made me think that he was a person. i had forgotten for a while. i am still scared of how he acted that night and the damage he did and could have caused was quiet serious, but he is a person, maybe he needs more help, maybe there r reasons why he isnt or hasnt got that help. as much as someone shouldnt do things like that and if they r not in control of their actions something should be done, but maybe he just needs help. why use agressive actions in response to agressive actions? but more importantly, i think its probably even scarier than that whole night that humans punish other humans. it just seems so random, u can go 2 jail, u can have a good behaviour bond and all because of some judge or jury's discerning power. i dont think that there should be manatory sentancing, but i think i just wish the world was a nicer place and everyone could be helped. maybe that man shouldve gone to jail, i dont know, but i know that its not my place to decide and im glad about that, i am not comfortable with me or any other human for that matter playing God with other peoples lives

Sunday, June 08, 2003

i worte a song this afternoon, well not really proper or anything, i wish i could write music. that would be so cool, i wish i musical. im really excited about blackstump, its going to be so cool, its ages away but im still excited. oh well, off to work again 4 now, miss out on church again cause kara is sick and she cant get out of it. oh well, next week...

ive been at rachels all afternoon, that was fun, we made invitations 4 her 19th, they look pretty sexy if i do say so myself. we went down the road and saw sarah aswell. we had this big reminicse about old times, all the crazy things we got upto when we were young and stupid...not that we are old now, or smart, but maybe a little less stupid. i miss those days, sort of. im having withdrawels from school still. not school itself but the time i was in school. if that makes any sense. im becoming really self concsious of people asking me what im doing this year, i have 2 say just working, and i feel like a bum. i dont like when people have expectations of me, like i have no idea what im going to end up doing with myself but i hate that thats looked at as a bad thing. i spose it isnt that good, if id stuided and been good at school i would be going 2 uni or going next year or something, not "just working". then i could say i was taking a year off and then going into this course or something. its really not that important but it just bothers me.

this guy from the pub, a regular, was talking 2 me the other night and told me i was going no where. all he knew of me was that i worked in the bistro and bought him his dinner 5 nights a week. but im not gonna b a waitress 4 the rest of my life, im barely a waitress now, thats just some of my life - the money making side

i bought a new pair of pants the other day, they are just the best, u know when u buy something and they r just so you? well these pants are really me. i dont kniow what about them but i love them.

anywya, i havent been blogging, not because it wouldnt work, but because i just didnt feel i had anything 2 write. i spose u always have stuff 2 write i just havent been bothered blogging it, i do apologise.

anway, its been a fun weekend, worked lots, last night was insane, i was tired so i didnt really go out, i just stayed up the pub 4 a bit and played the pokies with pete, we didnt win, but thats ok, we had fun, it was a novelty.

i saw scott on friday night when we were out. that was wierd, well i thought it was wierd but it was suprisingly was wierd because it was normal. he is going to the snow 2 work over the snow season 4 a few months so i wont see him again 4 ages if ever. so yes, that was interesting. bye scott

im talking 2 this boy from church atm who i teach drama and he is telling me all about this girl he likes and its rather cute. hes askingm e if i like anyone, i dont think thats very proffessional of myself to give out detials like that.

we had the sunday morning group this morning, it was fun, i had 2 do a drama in church so i was late - opps. my game failed, oh well. tom is going on camp next week which means he wont be at jam, and im scared, im hoping lots of them decided to go on camp. im sure it will be alright.

Thursday, June 05, 2003

i think thats a bit odd, i dont have archives in existence even though i should...i think i need 2 take a blog course

i do apologise 4 my lack of blogging, i think im loosing readers, thats alright actually, my blog seems to be becoming more and more random, i dont kno if id want to read it.

ive decided that the pub i work at is like the big brother house. someone is always watching. everyone finds our everything. its rather scary actually. very silly aswell.

just got home, tired, thats an awesomly long day. i went to mona, it was alright, good 2 just get away 4 a bit and get lost in the music as they say. getting lost is good.

there were some strange people at mona, including this hypnotist. he hypnotised a bunch of people and they did silly things. ben got put under and he danced like a stripper to a group of guys. i laughed, when he came out of it later on he laughed too. he said he could remember it all but he didnt have any control over what he was doing. i think thats pretty wierd. bens a good guy, u can just have a good laugh with him anytime, nothing is ever too serious. we hung out with karas friends from tafe aswell, that was fun, just meeting new people and what not. all in all, mona was a pretty good end to the day.

Wednesday, June 04, 2003

ok bed now, bus leaves at 9:53, thats not too bad, i still would rather sleep.

i spoke to my friend who is away on a sort of mission thing 4 a year tonight, i dont know if he is that happy. that would be really scary. leaving all your family and friends for this exciting trip and it doesnt turn out to be what u expected. im scared that will happen to me, it probably would have happened to me if i had gone striaght back to romania. i dont doubt that God sent him there, its just not what he expected. i wish God had a mobile and could just sms me, that would feel alot clearer. its always the way but, we just want the quick solution, but really, if i had opted for the quick solution, i would have missed out on a number of really good stuff that ive learnt heaps from already this year. i guess u just gotta remember that there is a plan, ur never really walking in the dark alone.

i got home at about 11, and i left the house this morning at about 8. thats a really silly day.

but ive had a fairly interesting night. pete from work dropped me home. he warned me before we got in the car that it smelt really badly of pot. it did. then he said, as we sat in the car park, " we are just gonna sit here a minute, i just have 2 do something" i got a little worried, "what r u doing?", "oh", he remarked casually, "i just wanna smoke a few bongs before we go". i eventually convienced him 2 do it in the street next to my house so i could get home without a stoned driver. i did try saying that he shouldnt do it at all, or he shouldnt do it as he is driving, but he seemed to think he drove better stoned. i think its about time i got my lience. but more importantly, i think pete shoudnt do drugs.

Tuesday, June 03, 2003

i really have nothing to blog right now, i babysat and had drama, kids mucked up, i felt silly and annoyed slightly. i saw kara, watched rove, and now im about 2 go 2 bed cause i have a big day 2morrow.

Monday, June 02, 2003

my hotmail does not get along with ahill, it wont let me send emails to any ahill address, ive tried tom, howie, and david and from both my hotmail accounts, that smells

poo england, why does it have to be so far away?

i was just watching secret life of us, and it got me thinking some more about how much people compare themselves to other people to make themselves feel like they r doing alright. kelly said to evan "i feel like my life is so selfish and im so undecent" and evan just said "no kelly u r the most decent person i know, ur not half as selfish as everybody else. its just a human thing, people are selfish". i dont think its safe to look at other people as ur meter for how good a person u r. i guess it goes back to what james was saying in his blog, that christians arent perfect but we shouldnt use that as an excuse cause we justifying ourselves to be like the rest of the world is not really the right thing to do. we shouldnt become comfortable in being imperfect just because if we compare ourselves to everyone else we arent doing that badly. it isnt really humans we should be trying to compare ourselves with. i think thats a really hard thing not to do, being in the world but not of the world, the world is really hard to be in but not of.

Sunday, June 01, 2003

i dont know how people go on big brother, i think its a fun idea 2 b in a house and have fun with all these people but the fact that its all locked up and u cant get out and ur being filmed 24/7 - hmm i dunno if i could cope with that. i think id rather go on a show like real world, thats an mtv show, it was around long b4 big brother and its just a house with 7 people and they go out and work and have friends and stuff. its much more like a documentry on a share house, i could cope with that maybe. but even the fact that all these randoms would get 2 know u and ud never met them is sort of wierd. u cant really pretend 2 b some1 else 24/7 and 4 that long a time. i think those people are very brave, mayb just attention seekers, but brave ones if that

i think msn is great, extremly great, i just spoke 2 my friend andrew on msn and hes all the way in romania, u dont have 2 pay or wait 2 speak to people all over the place, its good, anyone who goes overseas should b forced 2 have msn wherever they go

i write like i speak i think, someone once told me that and now reading over what i just wrote i think i agree. hmmm

i have had a really really good day today. even though i had 2 get up so early and it was cold, i drank some sprite which gave me some energy and i went 2 jam after the craft fair. jam was fun aswell, its normally alot of fun but i was sort of expecting 2days jam 2 just rush past with lots of stress and nervousness. i wasnt even nervous right up until the point when tom said, "and now jos going to give the talk", i think it was a bit dodgy, there r lots of things i think of now that wouldve been better. but it was my first ever talk and its all just exciting, now i can do the next 1 better. today i also ate coco pops with milk and it was good. thanx tom. had a laugh. then i ran around the northern beaches, including along warringah road. actually ALONG doesnt really do it justice...ON the mediam strip in the middle of 6 lanes of traffic. very interesting, people honked their horns, people looked at us funny, we caused quite a stir. im glad i volenteer 4 strange hsc drama videos. na it was fun, good ole being silly, its great. i missed out on church tonight which smelt cause i wanted 2 go cause it sounded like it was going 2 b funky. i had 2 work cause i got last nite off, but even work wasnt that bad. after all this talking 2 the kids this morning about loving people even though they were mean, i saw it be rewarding tonight. the chefs i normally fully dont get along with were mucking around with me and having a good ole laugh, i was impressed. id like to let everyone know a handy hint 4 when u r working with grumpy chefs who r mean 2 u, make them a cup of tea b4 u start each shift. even if they r mean, keep offering them tea, cause after a while they get over it and just enjoy their cup of tea and dont get themselves all angry.
yes and i had a great chat with kara after work aswell, we are so different, but we r so close, its really good. sometimes i dont understand how our friendship works but im glad it does.

(i wrote this last night when my computer was being a dog so ill post im posting it now...)

well apart from the excitment of loosing my brother 4 an hour or so, tonight was great. it was a long day but with not to many serious dramas. it was fun. people called out 2 me, "choreographer 4 breakthru" hehe im not a choreographer, im not even a dancer. so today was the day i pretended to be a dancer. sometimes i want to be a dancer, but after sitting thru a whole day of dance, im really grateful to be in a medium that doesnt rely souly on my body and the music to speak the piece.

we watched some interesting works, alot of them i did not understand at all. but thats ok, i enjoyed just seeing something different. some stuff was really powerful and in ur face, but i didnt get beyond that with many of the pieces, it was alot of shock value but the message or any challenge just didnt seem to seap thru 2 me with most of them. actually the most touching piece was one in the afternoon show with a bunch of primary school age kids. it was all about the kids response 2 the bali bombing. i think they tackled a real issue and message, and made it relatable and accessable the best out of all the developed work from colleges and companys that i saw all day. thats probably my inexperienced opinion but i reckon it should count 4 something cause lots of inexperienced people see their work. i guess it all depends if u r creating 4 a wide audience, a target audience or just urself...

jill got home tonigjt, sal and her mum ran off 2 c her. its all very exciting. it will b good 2 c her. i wish all the aussies would come bac from england, i miss them

one of the many things i forgot this weekend, was that i have 2 get up at 6am 2morrow, bum. im gonna b tired. i have another creative day and im nervous about jam talk