The end of 2005! yay! I'm ready to say goodbye to this year. I could say this year sucked, and it did, and this year was really hard, and it was, but it was also very significant and good too...
a list of my 2005...

- Met and fell in love with Sam
- Became a team leader at work officially
- had an operation
- Breathed through my nose for the first time that I can remember
- Went to Bangladesh
- Lost friends
- Made friends
- Watched someone I knew well pass away
- spent too much time in hospitals
- lived with someone I didn't get along with well
- invented "Jo's fat camp" and helped my Dad loose almost 10kgs
- Enjoyed spending time and building relationships with people with disabilities more and more
- Seen what a dangerous relationship with drugs is like in 2 people I love very much
- Drank copious amounts of tea with my mum and loved it
- earned and spent more than ever
- Danced till dawn at least 5 times
- Pushed myself in good and bad directions
- Been sad
- Been happy and laughed and smiled a lot

All in all I have learnt so much this year, lots of self realisation and learnt about other people. I think its probably been positive. YAY FOR 2006!!!

It's very strange that christmas has come and gone. I hadn't really worked out it was here and now its gone. It just didn't feel like christmas. I went to 4 christmas meals/family events, 1 church service and drove down the christmas lights street twice but still no christmas feeling. Hopefully this isn't a sign that the special christmas feeling is lost, maybe next year I'll get my butterflys in my stomach back, and not want to nap during christmas lunch, and have enough energy to go to the 11pm service and just feel more festive.
What I did love about this year was present giving. Me and my brother put in to get my parents awesome pressies. It was so exciting seeing both of them be so suprised. Our family doesn't usually do big presents, but it was nice to spoil my mum and dad.

Last night I was reminded of just how cool my job is. Actually all day yesterday and Friday too. As its the end of the year, lots of fun Christmas parties with the 'service users' and their families. Oh they bless me so much. I love that I've been around long enough to have built relationships with people are their families. They are all so special, and so unique. Sam and I were both commenting this morning, late last night on just how strong and different each persons personality and character is. Which is kind of an obvious statement, but I think its easy to get caught up in just working and doing tasks that I can forget and take for granted the special characters I am blessed to work with. Last night we had our annual Christmas disco, and while it was somewhat hilarious to counsel people through several break ups and make ups, as teenagers do I guess, it was also just special to witness such a cool community of people going absolutely wild and having a great party. I loved spending so much time dancing with the guys and seeing how much they loved it. My feet hurt and I was a weary one by the end of a truly massive day, but still had a heart warmed feeling of being able to be apart of these peoples lives. It all happens in amongst the frustrated feelings I have with the bureaucracy around these people and my work, and the physical toll it seems to be taking on my body at the moment, but it does feel like its all been worth it somehow. I do hope I can continue to work in this field.
SOP SOP.

Tonight at commy dinner I was reminded of God's presence in sucky times. Then on the way home I was remind of how melodramatic I am.
Not long after dropping James at Dads, James calls me to tell me Dad isn't home, insn't answering his phone and hasn't heard from him all day. This is all very odd Dad behavior. He answers his phone and when he doesn't usually calls back pretty quickly and is barely ever out and if he does go out or away will tell us, especially if James is staying with him. James couldn't remember him saying anything about being out. Either way, we, particuarly me, began to panic just a tad. All these horrible things were going through my mind. I was thinking through a list of people I could call who might know where he was, getting myself prepared to wake people up in the middle of the night and working out what to say. Dad still wasn't answering his phone. Just as I'm about to start calling, phone rings and its Dad. He's in Orange. Apparently did tell James. Should have realised it was far more likely James' memory failed then some horrific thing happen to Dad.
My brain goes silly like that. I always manage to go to the most dramatic scenario.
Mums good like that. I called her to ask for a number and she said "don't be silly Jo, he's fine, go to bed - bye" and hung up. She says things like that all the time when I'm being dramatic. I should remember to believe her.

I've had a really interesting weekend, well interesting for me, something to document.
On friday night I ventured up to Toukley to meet up with a friedn who was getting married the next morning. We went out to dinner with her dad and stepmum and organised little wedding stuff till 12ish. We were staying at a really nice hotel which unfortunetly was also toukleys hottest night spot on a friday night. Didn't sleep much.
Saturday morning we woke at 3:30am to get ready. I don't usually do make up or my hair very much, let alone at 3:30 in the morning. After we both looked somewhat respectable for the ungodly hour we went and picked up the flower girl. We were at the headland we they were getting married by 5.
It was sooo beautiful. sunrise wedding at a headland with a lighthouse - awww. but awfully early. After hundreds of photos and our faces hurting from smiling so much, we went to have a breakfast BBQ reception. While the boys were setting up the BBQ, we all felt like coffe - which is understandable at 6am. Luckily enough, there was a milbar. I wish i had the photos - there was Ali in her wedding dress, me in a birdesmaid dress and the flower girl all in a milkbar. Perfect place for a reception. The BBQ was had, then i packed up the hotel room and headed home.
I finished writing the speech for the 21st and had tea with mum. Headed to Tim and Katies wedding at church. That was very lovely. Everyone looked beautiful. Reminded of how ugly the carpet at church is.
Dropped David in chatswood, went thru speech with Pip and then went to Tara's 21st.
Although I was running on 2 hours sleep for 36 hours, I had a blast. Dancing and sillyness to the max.
I got home and went to sleep at 1:30. I almost went to manly to try and make it a 24hour day.
I'm still so tired. Feel much like a zombie.
Such a great time though. Seeing people get married is just so exciting. Celebrating anything I think I like, I'm just a sucker for a party.