And Mona was good.
it was very strange, for once I was the one in the good mood who was off having fun, everyone else seemed to be down in the dumps. But Reagan was there (good on him for being home from Queensland) and he was happy. I went and danced with him and his friend. I tried to help them pick up chicks. I don't think my presence helped much. Funny how that works, girls will get intimidated by another girl dancing in the same vicinity of a guy, like its their territory or something, same goes with guys and girls too. But we weren't very serious about them picking up chicks so it was all good.
if I was to write a book about some social ritual, I think I might choose picking up. Its such a funny thing to watch and hear about.
my book wouldn't be like all those books tom seems to stumble across, the ones saying that girls shouldn't have short hair, and other such funny things.

what to do, what to do

i could just stay home, i could go to mona. i think i might feel like mona. id sort of already thought of fun things to do tonight in my head, but it didnt turn out as such. mona could be good.

i still hate the dentist but maybe not as much now.
i had to get 3 fillings, and i have to go back 2 more times for several more.
think it would probably have been a good idea to have gone to the dentist before this.
ah well, it wasnt too painful. i got a big needle but i got gel stuff before so it didnt hurt. the rest was just uncomfortable and long and boring.
but they are very nice. we had good little chats, well they talked and i went 'uh huh', 'eh', 'mm' and other such noises.
they were telling me stories about how people have gone and eaten after getting a filling and chewed off bits of their cheeks cause they couldnt feel that part of their mouth.

the day that was...

it included -

foodcourt
car trips
a frisbee
new watch
3 new tops
a tafe enrollment
a church
a pub
and a range of people

things that are definate....

i am a tafe student
i am a member of the tafe association (oooh posho)
i am a youth leader
i am a hannah minder


things that arent definate...

being in a bible study
fusion stuff
other church stuff
money
more work with centacare
work in general
next year
amd lots of other things im sure



but thats quite alright. im happy with the definate and mostly excited with the undefinate. Gods a good bloke, hes got it all worked out even if i havent, so therefore im not concerned at all. its all a bit 'oh yeah' now. its very good how its all planned out already. i know that someday, somewhere, somehow, i will be doing something. and thats exciting. sort of a little tedious at times not knowing and waiting and doing things you dont fully understand the point to, but im happy to focus on god and do what he wants. ultimatly thats got to be better then what i want. whatever this year brings, im looking forward to it.

im a little worried about helen and tom at the moment.
the jokes on all the youth stuff for this year are getting to be a little concerning.

i went to the pub today, not to work but to make some food.
sarah from work sarah, picked me up and we went in and cooked ourselves a huge plate of nachos, but instead of corn chips we used hot chips and it was bloody yummy.
good to catch up with sare.

then i realised the time and rushed to hornsby to hand in my centacare forms before the office shut.
met howie at fusion and then commy dinner.
it was a fun evening, there was even a spanking fight with a pan.
i really like community dinner, i wish i got to go more often.

tomorrow i enrol in tafe. which, after a fair bit of thought, is exciting and good.

i dont really feel like blogging much at the moment either

there are so many exciting things happening, and i would so love to say yes yes yes to all of them, its a shame that i live in reality with that stupid problem of time and space

i missed the internet so much.

oh and i met a girl from melbourne who knows mark called fiona
she reads our blogs!

bumping into fiona sometimes turned into a rather scary experience, she could tell me all sorts of details of my life.

it was very amusing.

but now i know about her and can read her blog!


hello to fiona and her youth group!!!

i didnt get to blog before i went away cause my internet connection is gone. but im home now, and i worked out something so im allowed the internet at home for today and maybe some other times duiring the week until we work out a new connection.
i went to foundations. i spent 7 days in poatina. i really liked the actual place, it was so beautiful. as we were driving out of poatina back to the airport, i remembered that you dont get views like this in sydney, with absolutly nothing man made as far as the horizon (apart from the actual village, and the power lines, there seemed to be alot of power lines).
i did enjoy myself. i had a great week.
i met lots of fun people.
when i first got there it sucked. id had a bit of some crazy days leading upto going, and i was feeling sick from the plane. i was alright till we got off the bus from the aitport (apart from dave and howie trying to scare me by telling me i might be sleeping in a tent), but as soon as we got out of the bus, i felt lost. there were a number of people running around, and i was told where i was staying, and howie went off his way, and everyone was going off there ways, and i was just sorta standing there feeling like i wanted to go home again. someone walked past and picked up on my feelings of lostness and escorted me to my house and up to registration. no one was in the house when i dropped my stuff off, so i had no idea whose house it was and who was in it.
i registered and continues feeling lost. everyone seemed to know what they were doing, and know each other.
the first day and a half i struggled a tad. it was wierd cause normally i will find those situations much more enjoyable, i just wasnt in the mind frame i dont think.
but i made some friends. i was in a small group with some fun fun people. katie was a bit rude like me, she was lots of fun, i like katie. and chris was funny, we laughed about poo and farts alot and other simple things. and the girls in my house were so cool. it was like a big sleepover. they were all staying to do the 6 month cirtificate course, i was sad when i said goodbye.
i drank alot of tea. and ate biscuits, alot of biscuits in fact.
apart from all the practical things that happened, i learnt lots and had good god time.
it wasnt what i expected it all to be, but it was good all the same.
and for now, that is my review of foundations.

how good is the barcadi festival?
ooh i liked it alot. latino music is fun, extra fun to dance to.
ryan, howie, helen and i ventured in to darling harbour. we stood and listened, sat and ate, stood and listened some more, and then some (well all but howie) had a dance. the dancing was the best bit i would say, i throughly loved every minute. i havent danced like that in ages, just gone crazy-fun. great stuff.
then we went back and sat and played some cards for a while in the food court place. took me a while to remember how to play 500.
on our way back to the train, we stopped in st andrews square for some frisbee action before home time.
i want to go to the bacardi festival tomorrow night now.
and helen even let me drive home from roseville.

maybe james and i both inherited anarchist genes.

this was on my computer when i came and sat down in front of it....

The Anarchist's Cookbook

- Smoke Bombs


good stuff really. its got a whole list of different stuff you can make on this website, like napalm, mail box bombs, how to make potassium nitrate, terroirizing macdonalds, portable grenade launcher...the list goes on. i would link but i dont feel like being responsible for leading someone to this site, not that it wouldnt be hard to find, you can all just do it without my help.

but it has this at the bottom...

The creator of this page and any links it may lead to hereby takes no responsability or liability for anything that happens as a result of reading anything on this page or anything contained in subsequent pages. Users read at their own risk. It is NOT reccomended that the user do anything described in this and subsequent pages. Doing so may result in serious trouble, arrest, injury, and possibly deportation or death. Thank you.

they arent resposible either it seems, its just all there to look pretty.

i actually did stuff today which was refreshing.
apart from going to the dentist, that just sucked.
i absolutly hate the dentist, much more then i hate doctors. doctors are a managable dislike, but dentists, i hate with a passion.
the poor dentist lady. i was not the easiest of patients. but she was fairly nice. they had a screen with dvds playing so you could watch them while they hurt you. it was the matrix though, so it didnt really distract me or make it more of a pleasent experience.
but after the dentist i went to chatswood to pick up my glasses. they arent as ugly as i feared, i think i can cope. i even like wearing them at the moment, its a novelty to be able to read street signs and what not.
then i met robert. we are maccas and went shopping in rebel with his vouchers. i had fun.
then kara picked me up and we went for a little drive via our favourite pizza place for her to get some dinner. i helped her eat her dinner and she dropped me home.
and i went fro a drive this morning too. my dad took me round terry hills which was fun. only had one almost-crash. i like driving.
if i hadnt had had to go to the dentist, today would have been almost perfect.

i am going to get my P's before sarah gets her red P's, before james gets his L's and before Adam gets his L's.

ive been in such a stupid mood all day. i think i just got sick of having nothing to do and feeling snotty.

kara called and there was an emergency with her sister and the pub had asked me to come in to work. i didnt think about it enough and just said yes. if my best friend needs me for something and i can help, im not likely to say no. but really, its not my responsibility if the pub has staff or not. karas emergency meant she needed the night off, her boss should have just worked something out instead of kara calling past staff members to help out. ah well, i went to the pub and worked.
it wasnt all bad, i got to catch up with people which was nice. is was more of a social occasion just with $50 at the end of the night. paul had his baby and is very excited. i like paul. he can be such a grumpy old man but really hes such a good bloke. i miss him.
the the end of the night, nick came up to say goodbye. he hops on a plane to move to queensland tomorrow. it hadnt registered with me yet, and it still really hasnt, but hes gone, and ive said goodbye. it feels so wierd saying goodbye to nick, hes just always been around for so long. we had a proper chat about everything thats been happening for him, a proper final catch up, then he gave me a big hug and i cried. i hate when people move away, even if there only going for a couple of months or years, i just know we wont keep in contact the same, ill never see that same person again.
poo blerh

5 whole months.
thats a fair effort. its a long time to be going out with someone for, well for me anyway. in one way it feels like a long time cause its 5 whole months, but its sort of flown by. either way, im happy with the fact ive spent the last 5 months going out with howie.
(5 months isnt really significant, i should probably wait to post when its 6 months, but its 5 months right now and i feel like posting it right now so oh well)
i love howie. being in love isnt something i was really planning on doing, or felt that i could do. i guess its been a learning experience for all. maybe a bit of a less public learning experience for me, i dont seem to get in trouble or have half as many meetings as howie, which is good, i dont think i would handle it all as well as he does.
but the sometimes public nature of our relationship has had its pluses. having lots of people in different areas that care about us and our relationship is really cool, i feel blessed and supported and loved.

the armidale debrief...

well, I was scared, and yep, I was shy.
I would say I had darn good reason to be shy.
I've never found myself in a situation like this weekends one before. It was good though. howies parents are very nice, and armidale is a cute little town, I can understand why howie would be so bored all the time but yep, cute for a little visit.
not that much time was really spent in armidale or with the parents. Roughly the time pans out ... 12 hours driving, 12 hours sleeping, and 12 hours awake in armidale. Well those 12 hours of awakeness, we went out to dinner, watched a dvd, visited nan, ate lunch and breakfast, and someone took a lot of photos.
the car was even good, I got to sleep a bit, and talk to different people cause we swappep around often. And I meet Anna, shes nice.
and the other 12 hours of sleep was brilliant. I slept so so well. The bed was so comfortable. I felt like a princess. The pillows were all fluffy and the quilt and the room was full of lots of pretty stuff.

I had fun.
I feel more shy that I was shy. I don't get shy too often, well I try so hard not too. Shyness makes you miss out on stuff I reckon. You don't experience things half as much when your shy. Plus I give howie such a hard time about when he gets shy, so that makes it worse too.
but it was a good trip. I don't feel as scared to do it again. John and Jane are so good, they looked after us all so much, I don't think I thanked them enough, or howies parents in fact. I should thank more in general, people are so good to me.

i saw my first film for the year this evening, honey. to be honest, i enjoyed it. i thought it was tops. it was very cute and feel-good and just fun, a good no-brainer. sort of like save the last dance music wise, and i like that music.
i dont think alot of people will like this movie cause its dodgy, but i love it for its dodgyness, all of its dodge i love.

i went to the optomitrist yesterday and he said i had to get glasses. thats a bum. they are ugly too. it took ages and ages to get tested and then try on every pair of frames in the shop. in the end i got really over it and just picked some 'ok' sort of ones, but now i think back, i think they are really ugly. oh well. they are for 'minimal use', only for driving and movies and stuff thats far away.
the optomitrsit was a funny man. he seemed to know about everything. while barbs was having her eyes tested, he was telling us all about teaching and different learning styles and giving her advice for her classes. and then when it was my turn, he was also an expert in sinisitis. he reckons i shouldnt eat sugar or drink coke, apparently that makes me sick. he told me to cut out a whole pile of other foods, but im not sure what is left.

ive decided that im going to wake up well tomorrow.
no longer will i be sick.

i figure that i have to mind hannah tomorrow, and go to goodbye party, and then go to armidale on the weekend, so really its an appropriate time to be better.

good. sorted.

howies and my big plan to see each other everyday failed today. well we lasted the first 6 days of the year. thats a fair good effort. it was going to fail soon anyway cause i had leadership weekend away thingy and hes going to new zealand. soon enough itll be back to once a week if we are lucky. poo. silly lives.
but hey...i might have a license in 6 months!!!

kara came to visit today. she made me cookies and we got a dvd and she sat with me on the couch while i felt sick. that was nice.
we watched ...oh dear, ive completly forgotten the name of it, ummm, gyneth paltrow, airplane hostess, very silly...well it watchable, not fantastic.
thats all really.

barbs seems to be making friends with everyone at the moment. chatting with howie last night, and making helen lunch today. not normally a thing i would expect from my mother. i dont mind, i think its sort of funny. shes not too embarassing, even with the photo albums she wasnt that bad

some researchers in newcastle reckon that the common cold virus kills melonama cells.
well if this is true then at least i wont get skin cancer.

im fixing myself soon. im going back to the doctors and im going to get my scans and tests done and im going to STOP BEING SO BLOODY SICK ALL THE TIME!!!!

i got my L's!
i got my L's!
i got my L's!
hey hey hey hey!

it was very exciting. i wasnt all that confident that id get them. especially since i had my mother and howie going on with their less than encouraging remarks. but then helen came, she believed in me. and i went, and i passed! yay! i didnt even get any questions wrong!!!
i have an orange matchbox car too, a present to mark this monumental day and that fact that i am carless.

BURNT

i woke up this morning feeling really sick, really stuffed up and snotty. barbs said that shed look after me and went and got me a big bowel of boiling water with vix vaper rub stuff in it for me to breath in. just as she was getting it the phone rang, it was kara. mum put the water on my lap as i was talking to kara.
about 2 seconds after shed placed it on my lap, somehow i managed to move or something, and the bowle rolled off my lap and spilt all over my feet.
i swore very very loudly and threw the phone in the air. i ran to the bath and stood there with the cold water running on my feet. i ended up sitting on the edge of the bath for about 3 hours. it hurt too much to get out.
aww im such an idiot.
i rang kara back and explained.
ouch ouch ouch.
i think sitting in the cold water helped but, it hasnt blistered or anything, just hurts.

the great thing, the fantastic thing about frisbee is that i dont seem to be injuring anyone or myself when playing.
i think this is the first "sport" i have found that no injuries occur.
i got knocked out in basketball tryouts once, i knocked someone out playing tennis, ive got concussion playing softball, countless bruises and cuts from soccer and even vollyball.
so im all for the frisbee phase.
may it be lasting in days.

a walk to belrose is a far way.
we took the quickest route thanx to 'where to'.
ryan, howie and i decided we were in need of an adventure, so after much discussion, somehow or other we had decided to catch the train to chatswood and walk to belrose, and for those who don't live in belrose, walk home again. jo french lent me some shoes and socks as i was wearing thongs - not very suitable for a walking adventure. i was also in a skirt. its a rare occasion I wear a skirt, trusting it to be the night we go on an adventure.
supplies were gotten at woolworths - hommos, home brand jatz, oreos, an apple and some nectrins, corn thins, natural jelly beans and our mascot bobo the elephant. and we had some water too.
we hopped on the train and david was called, with a quick dash to wiatara, he was with us.
off the train we got at chatswood, with much excitement we began the journey. nothing much blogable, just walking walking walking.....and ryan looked for something to tie bobo to so he too could enjoy the walk.....walking walking.....till we got to rosevile bridge and it was picnic time. we were going to walk down to the big park place thats under the bridge, but there were people there, and we thought that if people were in a park at that hour they might be scary, so we rested on a little grass bit on the side of the road down to the park. we ate and played frisbee for a while. david brought a torch with him which came in handy when the frisbee dissapeared into the bushes and what not.
and then we set off again. howie and i tended to be at the back of our walking brigade, as howie has injured feet from silyness on a flying fox and im just slow. david was wanting to keep moving and ryan was just energetic so they headed up the front for the most of the time.
we followed our map we printed out and finally made it to my house.
a quick trip inside, a quiet trip also in order to not wake barbs too much. had a drink, looked down stairs for other forms of transport such as scooters, unfortunatly nothing was found, and then the boys left. i did try and convience them to stay and catch public transport again when it started in the morning, but they were commited to the trek and off they went again.

i reckon if i could smell, i would say that we all smelt pretty darn bad.

we got on a train at hornsby about 10:50pm, the boys left my kitchen at 2:50am...thats 3 hours including a picnic. pretty good going if i say so myself.

so to drive to hornsby its about 20-30minutes
to catch public transport its about an hour
and to walk and have a picnic in the middle of the night, its about 3 hours.

now i know, good stuff.

i am not very impressed. my brother is brown.
thats so not fair.
i go red and hurt and peel and then go back to white, but he is brown.
humph

after the beach yesterday, i went out with kara. it was good, she isnt all that happy at the moment, and i had promised her a night of fun.
we went to chatswood (not an ideal location for much fun), but soon got a train to the city in search of chinese. kara doesnt go into the city much, so something different and fun for her. we ordered way too much food, and now its sitting in my fridge, i dont think it will get eaten, it was yummy anyway.
just walked and talked, soaked up the atmosphere and saw some daggy street buskers doing bad covers of some good songs.
found our way to some bus stop and mick picked us up. couldnt find any coffee shops open or not very full, so home we went.