im tired, i just got home, i would like to call it clubbing but it is really a pub with a dance floor and a dj...so i went to a pub with a dance floor and a dj. it was pretty good. all 4 of us girls from work were there which was fabo. good to catch up with them as we havent been working so havent been seeing each other. i dont know how much i will go clubbing/pubbing-with-dance-floor-and-dj anymore, not that i go that often anyway. i do enjoy it most of the time, but alot of the time i just get really frustrated and annoyed. constantly checking that everyone is close by and not off getting attacked can get tedious. not that i want them to get attacked. we all watch out for each other which is good, i just wish we didnt have to worry. one of the girls went missing for ages, at first we werent all that worried, but after 3 or 4 laps of the dance floor and a search round the beer garden, thru the pokies and under the pool tables, our concern level did begin to heighten. she was fine, turned up with the guy she had met. its just annoying. i get really angry when my friends dissapear.
it was a bit physco tonight actually, as we left there was a group of tough guys out the front with crow bars, they were yelling alot, and there were security guards chasing them. its not normally that crazy. hmm oh well

last night, yes...was creative worship event. it went well. we put in a fair bit of work, i think i was at the church almost 10 hours all up yesterday. bit crazy. but i think people enjoyed it and got stuff out of it. we are lucky because people are open to all this creative stuff at our church, some people still do get scared off cause they think its "vibey", i hope its not "vibey", i hope its just something different that is available to people who it works for. it was alot of fun to put together, and pack up actually. we were silly packing up. being silly is always fun, i think i do a fair bit of that.

i was thinking about davids party after reading chris' blog. thats a really strange thing for someone to do, go to a 21st where you know 1 person not that well. it was fun, and im glad i went, but i dont know why i did go, thats really strange. i dont blame howie for being all scared meeting my friends, i was petrified at davids, but i dont generally get so shy i go silent, i dont often go silent...but the point is that sometimes doing strange, out of the ordinary, spontanious things is good and has good consequences.

using that wors im not using would have made that post so much shorter and more consice

matt about cars...

"thats all there is, all there should have been, and all there will be, poor guys who were around before cars had to ride horses, u cant bolt nothing to a horse. u cant mod it to make it go faster, and cant make it look cool so u turn heads at the local stable"

i was just reading rach's blog, and she was talking about how on saturday night at leahs 18th, our group were the only people who just danced away and didnt care what the rest of the world thought. thats what i love about dancing, the feeling of abandon, just loosing all the crap for a little while and being free. and the fact we where in a room with the rest of the people we went to school with, faed none of us. i think thats brilliant. it always used to bother me when people in our grade came up with all these ideas about us, i didnt like being judged or labelled. i dont care at all now, havent for ages, but i think they would have trouble labelling us now since i dont think we fit in a box, not that anyone does, which is great. i have a great eclectic group of friends, we could all be labelled as completly different things, but deep down, they r all great, geneuine people who i cant imagine my life without.

i think its very important for people to have their own taste in music. music is so important, people should have cds that they love, not just like for the sake of it. if britney spears does what counting crows do for me to somebody, then good on them and good on brittas.

today was a good day. helen once told me that 80% of your time should be spent working in your strengths, i think i worked in my strengths today. i arranged photos creatvily, chatted about things i was passionate about, rehersed for a drama, arranged the church creativly and chatted some more. it makes life alot easier and much more fuflilling when your not constantly going against the stream and getting no where, i feel like i have been productive even though i probably havent. maybe thats a good way to think, to not be performance and results orientated.

i did a lot of looking back on romania stuff today while i was arranging photos. it made me sad to think they are still living on as we saw them. i wish i could change their worlds.

kara just came and visited. she asked what i was doing hanging out with these people in hornsby who dont talk.

sometimes i forget stuff, like that not everyone is not shy or that i havent known people for that long or that saying dickhead at church isnt that great

and filming, it was good. i didnt do too much important stuff which i think was great. i am just so glad i didnt have to act. im really just over performing. i have to act this week but, and at blackstump, but thats ok, i will cope, all for a good cause. i think that yesterdays shoot went very smoothly. everyone really enjoyed themselves even though we were all a bit tired at the end of it all. it was fun having blog people and church people all together, its good when unions of worlds work well.

id like to congradulate myself on cutting down, almost completly that word im not going to say, but its in my blog address thingy, but apart from that, i havent said it in a post in ages.

today was an interesting day. i started off feeling sick and tired and we had a lame jam. not good. one day i hope we have a really good jam where the kids get all excited and no1 has to be told to behave. i then went to chatswood, i was late again, i have got alot better with lateness this year, ill just blame it on the fact in creative and creative people are late.
robert and i then came back to belorse and met up with a couple of my friends. he went all quiet and awkward. my friends arent scary but i spose it would have been a little overwhelming.
church was good, gossip was bad. it really bothers me. it shouldnt, but it does. its just stupid. it was a little fun that people were a little confused cause howie came and we sat together, shock horror. churches have such a low measuring scale for thinking something is going on.
maccas was fun afterwards. i spent alot of the time laughing while the boys put on a show for the other christian kids from different churches. all the party tricks came out.
now i feel sicker and tireder.

i was flicking through the channels tonight and i noticed probably the saddest thing i have ever ever seen on television. it was a cross between the bacholor and a beauty contest with a bit of joe millionare. it was called "who wants to be a princess". there was a mystry prince from somewhere mysterious in europe and he got to stay mysterious until "later in the show". there were 25 women all dressed up and they got to parade around and say what they did and where they were from. he got to choose 10 of them to become semi finalists. then they had to answer intimate questions from the prince. i turned it off shortly after that. it was shocking. the winner got to go on a date with him and be the guest of honour at a ball in his palace.
the bit i found most amusing was when one girl was asked some question about what song she would want played as she walked into the palace, she said "im every women", because it was a strengthening song, that impowered women. what a dickhead. she was on national television, making a mockery of the equality of the sexes. she was objectifying herself for some guy to decide, and the audience to vote, wether she had poise, beauty or personality. thats ridiculas. i was offended.

i got stuff done today, i was impressed. i paid my phone bill, i got money off medicare, i printed, photocopied and stapled scripts in the library and resisted the temptation to buy a cd.
i had an intense experience in the library. you wouldnt think it would be such a big deal printing something out off your email and doing some photo copying...oh but it was. there is a secret procedure for everything in this library. i dont even think the staff understand it. i was a bit bewildered. i knew that u had to buy a photo copy card for phot copying, so i bought one, i knew you had to book a computer to use, so i booked one, i had no idea how the printing arrangements worked so i asked. when i asked, i got 3 different answers off the one women and then she sent someone else to "help me". after much ado, i did leave with my photo copies and what not. i just felt a little amazed at how serioously these women took their jobs.

i just finished the kids club script. i must say, i am really not impressed with it. this must be the hardest thing ive ever had to write, i have so many things to think about. like it has to be easy for the kids to learn, it cant have main characters as such, just shared roles, it has to be relatable and asscessable to their parents who are coming to church to see it and might not be christian, and it has to be nice and fluffy. i tried really hard to put a decent message in it amoungst the daggy kids stuff. i tried to bring out the absurdity of treking all over the world looking for Jesus and make it comfortable to accept that He is just always there. i think kids are great, their innocence and and untainted thoughts are something we shoud all learn from.

my blog has changed, my ideas on what it was for me and how i was going to write have all gone out the window, down the toilet...i think i need some new direction.

james, i dont think girls have problems talking on the phone with guys. ive never thought it a deal before. phone is good. in person is better, but the phone has its place.

today i visited the field of dreams.it was fun. i was late, because i didnt get up, slept through my alarm. bum. then the stupid train took forever to stop at the appropriate place and then there were lots of old people walking extremly slowly where i was trying to walk fastly. but i did get there, and after some table swappage i even got to sit at the table.
robert then babysat hannah and i for the afternoon and then tom and i zipped off to rehersals.

we had a TOOBSC rehersal tonight. i wasnt helpful, i may have been a tad distracting. i wasnt sure exactly what i was doing there. it was all fun to be there and see the process etc, but i kept wanting to open my mouth and play director which would not have been helpful. so i held my script, and read along, trying my hardest not to have silly conversations with sal and let tom continue with the great job he is doing.

i really do want to write something substabsial but im failing misrably, its all too hard tonight. i will try again tomorrow

i had a dream last night that i was on my way home from ywam and jamie came and picked me up from the air port. i had dreadlocks, and jamie started yelling and me very agressivly "its not different! its not different!" how strange

i think its great that when i or another female talks about males they are "boys" but when guys talk abour females, it is "women". just another sign of our superior maturity

i dont mean to make blogging meaningless by trying to convert people. i know blogs just wont work for some people, but they will for some. matt is a sad exception, his blog would have been brilliant, i think, maybe, if we are lucky, he will come back. but sal, shes a new blogger and you can see already she has the esscense of comprehension of what a blog really is, and i think rach is getting there aswell. what am i talking about, im a new blogger myself compared to ryan and the rest of u. but i like blogs, i like reading them and i like having my own, and if i see a person who would also enjoy the perks of blogs, i will suggest it for them.

i had a really yummy lunch today, thats about all i will say about lunch though. it feels really wierd having nothing planned, but i worked out today i really have alot to do, which is good, but its all stuff that i have to go get motivated to do myself. im not good at self motivating.

i have a little excursion tomorrow, off to the famous food court. i wonder if ill survive

im not proud to say just because i dont want people thinking i am caving into these stupid rules, but i am trying this 1 play day thing. its binding my freedom of choice, i feel like ive wasted my 2 favourite cds already. but i guess its good cause im pulling out some stuff that matches my mood but not my usual playlist material. i still dunno if i agree

i read sarahs friend sarahs society and culture PIP tonight. it was interesting. i didnt agree with alot of what she was saying, even though somehow my survey i filled out popped up fitting into her arguments. it was about the abscence of a male role model in a daughters life. i dont like being looked at like im some emotional wreck because my parents are divorced, and thats what i felt alot of what her PIP was suggesting about daughters who have this abscene of a father figure in their home. although i dont think divorce is a good thing, good things do come out of it. that may be a little controversial but in some cases, sadly but truthfully, it can have positive benefits.

i dont think it is very good when a person gets to the stage where their whole world is another person.

today i spent most of today in the one street in davidson. its very good that 2 of my close friends live in the same street. kara sarah and i went and got chicken burgars from the best chicken burger place which is in newport, and then we just sat at sarahs and ate and watched some more of the dvd we didnt get through the night before. it was fun just hanging with the girls. then i wandered up the road to rachels house to have a little big brother final night doo with some more girls. we ate pasta, and rach was happy cause she could watch her show. i wandered back to sarahs, stayed there a bit, and came home. sarah goes back to school tomorrow, thats a little dissapointing. kara started back at tafe today aswell, rach has finished tafe which is good but she will probably go get some job when she gets back from the snow, tara has no holidays and i think claires uni starts again soon, everyones leaving me. i have 2 weeks off the pub for renovations and i just quit boost and babysitting doesnt start till next week, so i think im going to be a little bored. actually i bet ill still be busy, i have a stupid habit of doing that.

ok so i didnt brake rachels blog, i think it works, although there still are no links but at least there is a websats thingy.

so everyone, go to rachels blog and go to sals blog

i must say i am awfully proud that they have blogs, its an exciting day in blog land.

I tried to be a blog expert but i think i failed, i have no future career in IT. i hope i havent broken rachels blog. since i watched chris and howie change stuff on my blog i thought that it didnt look that hard, so i gave it a shot. wherever i added links on her page, they are not visable. oh well. i think i wont go into the template section again.

ok blogging, church was a pile of fun tonight, drama went well i think, i enjoyed performing which i havent done in a while so goodo. it was my first performance this year apart from kids club stuff, which is strange, but pleasent. i much more enjoy the other side of it.
anyway, the sex panel was good, not much about sex which was good 2. it was more about the other issues that come up that people push aside because they dont seem as scandalous as sex. but all in all it was good because it encouraged us to just love people and not worry about sex and what other people are doing so much. well thats what i felt.
maccas came, was good also. i had a crazy time with sal. it was good to catch up with her, i dont get to see her half as much these days. but the most exciting even of the evening was that she is gonna get a blog! that would be 2 converts 4 jo! but yes, we had good chat, we sent many an sms being rather funny and then kara, sarah and leanne picked me up and we went back to sarahs house, watched half a dvd and bagged me out and came home which brings me almost upto this point minus a bit of msn.
tomorrow is juice and pay phone bill day.

sarah is playing psychologist on me. she says that erik erikson said that if individuals have not achieved a sense of identity the will fear committment, feel isolated, and unable to depend on anyone in the world. in order to achieve a sense of identity, an individual must know who they are and how they fit into the rest of society. it requires you to take all that you have learned about life and yourself and mould it into a unified self-image, one that your community finds meaningful. This has left me wondering if the reason that i don't like to depend on anyone and often avoid commitment means anything??? mmm maybe not, maybe i should just turn off my brain and live independently happily ever after in a pretty little pretend world. haha

im at sarahs house, she is doing an interview for her society and culture PIP about who she is. its rather fun being interviewed. we are also getting distracted talking about silly nonesense. im going to walk up the street to rachels house and find her blog before i head to church to do a skit about sex.

i got my first search engine referal thingy aswell, 2 from google and 1 from msn.

ok i dont think rachel has a blog yet...i had to go in the middle when she was setting it up and its not there now, so i will call her tomorrow.

i told helen about all the frivolious gossip activity when she was over this afternoon aswell. she thought it extremly incredible that all this had been going on. she was more on the st stephens grape vine that something was going on with me and tom. it feels like its all over now and all the gossipings stopped, it always feels like that with helen cause we are always debriefing something, but really, its far from over, for one thing ill be at church tomorrow.
im not sure if i have a mentor as such, i think helen would be it. she said she was my mentor for her college assignment. if that means we have lots of chats and be silly like we do then thats pretty cool. i approve,

helen just left, she came over to have a chat since she has been on holidays for two weeks. it was really good to see her. i heard the "worth it" song that tom and chris made for TOOBSC. i really loved the aucostic version, and the rap in the other 1 was so cool. Go matt and his rapping. we also had a good chat about breakthru etc. and we are in blackstump now offically i think which is simply grand! off 2 work

rachels getting a blog!!! im so excited, this is my first convert

I didnt go to boost today. I feel bad, but I also feel sick. I slept thru my alarm but my good ole mum saw I was sick and dead to the world and rang him for me. So I just woke up, which is just such a lovely feeling. Maybe I was up a little bit too late last night. And And And, I got my phone bill, oh dear oh dear. how does it get so expensive?! My sms's r really cheap so maybe if I make that my soul form of communication I wont be declared bankrupt by the end of the year. I set a new record for the number of sms1s sent for 1 phone bill which was exciting. But the rest of the phone bill about how much money I have to pay them sucks

just clearing up, i didnt gate crash a 21st, the 1 person i knew was the sister of the brother whos 21st it was

i went to a stupid 21st tonight. i knew 1 person that was going to be there, now i have been known to do this sort of thing once before, but this was not good, the other time was much better. turns out i did know people there, this girl i grew up with and her family who i havent seen for years and years. that was cool to see them but apart from that i just wanted to be at home in bed or blogging. even the car trip there was bad. there are only so many stupid not funny dirty jokes i can handle and still be polite about it. i was going insane. i ended up leaving early, thank goodness, kylie, awesome girl, drove me home. i feel really sick, i have the flu for the millionth time this year. and i have to work boost then pub 2morrow, ARGH!

winge winge winge

but on a positive note...how good is my blog? links and all! thanx to my blog maintence team

im really worried about my friend cristina. shes a romanian missionary i met while i was over there. im chatting with her on msn bout now and she is all stressed cause she doesnt have enough money cause her support isnt coming thru and shes not sure what she is going to do. she sent this big prayer letter email out to all her friends and ppl who support her telling them about the situation and no one wrote back to even say they were praying for her. i dont think i got the email for soem stupid reason or i havent read it. poor girl, everyone think and pray 4 her, and if u want to give her money, called send it to international teams australia office with her named somehow attached "cristina pauliuc". shes a great girl and she does great work

i feel so approved,

"jo is a person that could become semi-associated with our group."

thanx chris

i think i would like to join howie in saying a polite shut up

i havent said anything to anyone about anything or anyone.

chris is wonderful. robert and thomas are rude and we r going to go and watch a dvd. thanku 2 chris for making my blog prettty.

im about to embark on the trek to hornsby. not that im complaining because i am not like hornsby folk thinking belrose is out in the sticks, plus im not in belrose, im in chatswood.
i have decided that i am going to smile and not say a word. anyone who asks me about anything they have heard about me and my 500 boyfriends will just get a smile, no more defending myself and other innocent victims, ppl can talk and have there fun but im not getting involved.
lovely.

so noone is on msn, and my phone wont let me download ringtones, so im chucking a tantie and going to bed. no goss for anyone tonight

i want to be naughty and write lots of stuff about "the date"

ok, cousin alice is not sleeping yet. she is lying on the floor next to me reading a book on learning html. what an adventurous thing to do. im jealous, i want to know how that stuff all works, i just dont want to learn. i think im lazy.

im really excited that matt got a blog, good on u boy. its all just great, good on the world of blogging.

work was alright tonight, funny how after a great day it can all just go bad in a minute. one of the chefs was being a real big dick. hes always a dick but he was especially a dick tonight. i really dont approve of the way he acts alot of the time, like its all fun and games to just muck around but im sure there is a line, and i thought it should be clearer than it is. well well well.

must sleep, boost tomorrow, not much boost left, yay for no more boost. jos a happy chappy.

not much time to blog, cousins want to sleep. had a lovely day, spontaniously fantastic to be exact. maccas, ice cream, rtas but no L's, phones, phone shop ppl, juice, westfields, walking and laughing. was good.

i have a house full of cousins. they have all come to stay. its a little daunting, there r ppl sleeping everywhere, on every little bit of carpet big enough for there to be a mattress there is one. i think im exadgurating a fair bit, there is 5 of them. they r nice. they r just everywhere. i feel a bit self councious around my cousins, especially since they r on my dads side and my dad isnt here and i always feel like im being compared to him, or some judgement is being made...not sure what, but something. well its good to see them anyway. there are people in the world that think belrose is a nice place to visit and dont think its in the middle of nowhere, they might actually think its a lovely place

i think i blog too much. ppl must think im a geek, thats ok, i dont mind. but other ppl should blog more, ppl like david, even ryan could blog more. thats my 2 cents for the day

im going to get my L's tomorrow. if i believe it, it will happen! so i havent really studied enough and every time i do the test on the rta site i fail BUT im going to get them!
i saw helen at the church centre today and she was excited, she said she would even pray i got my L's. good on helen

but i did have fun last night, was good. i got home from a rehersal at church with matt and red carpet gang, and had a big chat about blogs and the days events in the food court with matt, with louise and jill looking on a tad confused. i got home, bout to get in my trakkie dacks and do some blogging and sleeping, when i get a phone call, and then i felt like being speratical (i could have used random then but i didnt, see im learning!) and i went to the bluegum in woop woop. then we got kicked out cause it shut and the journey home began. to toms house we went, had a chat with jemma while telling howie, tom and ryan to be quiet. then ryan drove me and howie and jemma to their house where we swapped jemma for loud new zealand man ian. we hit a possum. ryan was very upset. he stopped the car adn we ran to see if it was ok. at first it looked a bit sick, but only for a few minutes and then it got up and ran acrosss the road and up a telegraph pole. looks like he's ok.
was a fun trip home aswell. its funny how the trip to belrose was made out to be this big trek.

what an interesting night. i didnt know about this "set jo up with howie" buisness til yesterday, or maybe the day b4. i think its all very amusing. belrose is trying to set tom and i up, hornsby is trying to set me and howie up, and thats just church and blog people we r talking about. i went to the soccer with regan the other day and now kara and sarah think something is going on there, but the whole time i was at the soccer, he was trying to convience me to go on a date with his friend kayne. and on top of that, everytime i see my group, they all think there is something going on with aaron. why cant the world except im single? i never talk about wanting a boyfriend but everyone must think i do. maybe im happy being single. oh now wouldnt that be socially abnormal?

sorry tom, he knew i was joking.

also tonight at church, one of the boys i teach drama came up to me and tried to get into a conversation with me about how much he liked vodka. i didnt really have much to say. anything i thought i should say i thought i shouldnt again quickly b4 i said it. like he said he didnt like how it burned ur throat. i was going to say, "well u shouldnt drink it straight", but i didnt think that would be correct. i was going to say "well u shouldnt drink" but that wouldnt be right either cause i enjoyed a drink when i was his age. so in the end, i pointed to tom and said, "u shouldnt talk to me about this, i havent gone to college"

today was a day of rumours. i didnt really notice till around 7pm, but mainly after church. turns out all day today, everyone has been messaging everyone else saying all these strange things that werent true. poor kara seemed to be the subject of alot of this. she didnt seem to care, she rang a few ppl and said shhh, but apart from that she just laughed, she said she has more important things to worry about, which is good and true. apart from ppl saying that so and so was going out with so and so even though they told so and so they werent and so and so got together yada yada yada, some1 at church tonight came upto me and asked if i was going out with "blah".
i was like "blah?"
and she was like "blah",
i was confused.
she said "so and sos" mum had told her mum.

is that not extremly wierd?

jam kids r doing drama tomorrow morning, im so excited. i say that phrase alot, im so excited, and have a random. i need some new words. but, tomorrow morning should be grand, even if the actual script sucks, they r cute and they will do brilliantly.

i am not going to think deeply tonight, jusy sillyly. i think that what happens when u get to that to tired to return sort of state. lovely. sleep, good work

well i must say there wont be much winging in this post. i had a beaut of a day, even though i left the house at 10 this morning and only just got home and working 2 jobs, it was a beaut. i quit boost! ah iam so excited. he was really nice about it and its all good, i am leaving on good terms which is great cause i realy didnt want to leave all issuesome. but its great, so great, i felt like this big weight had been lifted off me, i could have skipped out of work, thru westfields and all the way to the pub i was that relieved. i even had a good night at the pub amazingly. even when the boys in the kitchen were having thier little tantrums, nothing could dampen my mood. i was a bit worried about kara though, she didnt seem to be in a mood anything like mine. but we sorted that out. after work we went to tims house 4 a bit and said hi 2 some ppl who were there. everyone was hyper or drunk or something, but i must say, it was extremly amusing, kara was in a good mood and i if it were possible got in a gooder mood. then kara and i decided it was extremly important to go and find a petrol station that was open. so we went on a little adventure. we found one, wasnt the closest one, but it was open and we had fun there aswell. the poor little dude behind the counter thought we were a little mental, but thats ok. so we got some lollies and petrol, since we were there, and she dropped me home. but wait, theres more. the night continued for half an hour or so with me and kara sitting in my street having a good laugh and being crude. we even named her car. was fun was fun.

as if women are superficial, ok some chicks are, but i must argue from my side of the fence and put in that alot of guys r extremly superficiial aswell. so what if girls do it in more obvious ways like make up, hair, appearences, magazines, etc etc BUT guys superficial ways include porn, sex, the way they treat girls etc etc, now that sounds a little worse ey ey?

once again i will stress. i am only talking about a portion of the population.i think that superficiality is found abuntantly in both sexes.
basically, my arugment for all anti girl comments is that guys r mean too. flawless i think

work smelt. i think im just over tired and worn out so everything smells. i ate a vegie burger. if i ate more healthy stuff like fruits and vegies i would so become a vegatarian. i dont really like meat that much and after seeing all raw stuff at work, it makes me like it less. there was a chicken hanging in the cool room today. and madee the kitchen hand, ate chicken feet for lunch, yuk, i felt sick. but my vegie burger was nice.

having a bit of a reminicse bout romania right now, me and andrew r mucking around, good times. if i got to choose someone to be an older brother, it would be him.

but apart from that, i got home a little bit ago. went to work, then dancing. work was bad, both works were bad today. juice suckd, pub suckd. not good at all really. i was so annoyed and upset after boost today, it all really got to me. i was talking to daniel and he says he doesnt like it there either, but we r both to scared to quit cause our boss is really nice. ah, i dunno.

it was a pretty funny night actually, after all of works had finished, i left my phone at work, 2 car batteries died, we got left behind, i had an interesting dissucussion about piercings, we waited for over an hour outside some random leagues club, we ate maccas, and we did actually fit a little dancing in. not enought though.

work 2morrow x2 so sleep must i

tonight after work we had sarahs farwell drinks, was good. i met this chick that is friends with helen and also went to my old school. she graduated when i was in yr 6 but i fully recognised her. we talked for ages about ccc, sca, northern beaches, her chuirch, my church, crazy stuff, and anna wood. i remember the day after anna wood died because there was a prefect at my school who wore a her badge and was crying and everyone was running up to her and it was all very emotional. anyway, i knew i recognised her and it turns out she was that girl. it was really wierd. i cant really explain it but it felt like i was being introduced to someone who i fully looked upto when i was younger. we had the best chat, one of those strangly deep insightful chats you only tend to have with people you barely know. was good

im going to study for my ls test cause i am going next wednesday.

today i have noticed that i am talking alot out of my bum. i have said this 2day several times to ppl i was talking out my bum to, that were nice about it but i think i should shut up. but u know im not going to cause its my blog. i think its very cool that lauren has a blog, more ppl should have blogs. i tried to convience sarah to but she didnt like the idea. sarah and i had a good chat today, actually it was alot about her boyfriend she didnt know she had, its a funny situation, she likes the guy so that bits ok. hes a nice boy mainly. we ended up having a good joke, actually it was a bitch if i were to be honest, about guys and a good laugh at how we met. its a funny story, u c, we met when we were both going out with the same guy, we dont talk to him much nemore but now she is one of my best friends. sarah meets ppl at odd places, she met another good friend of hers at a bus stop randomly. good on her, i love that girl, shes fun.

ok, so i spent tonight at the pub again, and tomorrow night im going up there 4 sarahs farewell drinks. then i will be there every day till next monday cause of work, i think that offically makes me a sad pub hanger

Countries: July, 2003

Country
Visits

Australia
Canada
United States
Great Britain (UK)
Mexico
Hong Kong
Portugal


thats exciting, welcome foreigners

maybe i shouldnt have blogged all that, but it was my thoughts at the time and they might change, its all a process as far as im concerned

i still must say that homosexuality is a sin cause i cant see any other way around it. but i still will say that i love my gay friends and i dont think that because they are sinning they should be judged or not loved. i sin, ppl still love me. if a sin is a sin then it shouldnt really make gay people different. some peoples blogs recently have been a little unloving towards homosexuals. i think its great to know ur bible heaps well and be able to use it in debate, but what use is the bible if it cant be related to someones personal problems? it can be easy to quote the bible and say how wrong this and that is, but that seems to be ignoring the sections of grace and compassion and love and not judging people

in the last post, christian was a guy not a religion

yesterday i spent 4 and a half hours at the pub. thats pretty sad, i think i am turning into a a local pub hanger. it was good but. sarah and i had lunch and chatted about heaps of stuff. i think its "think about the past" episode of dawsons creek at the moment. i have a theory that life can be classified into episodes of a tevelision show. things always seem to happen that match a theme around the same time. i spoke to christian for the first time in about a year on saturday night and then yesterday we were talking about the christian thing and other past relationships and stuff. also last nigh in the car we were all having a debate about some of the stuff that was brought up on saturday night. you see, stuff seems to fit neatly into tv show themes.

i couldnt sign into msn or blogger last night cause my keyobard is being a big bitch and is adding 0's where it feels inclined to. which means my passwords weren't right. that was a shame. i really think its time for a new computer. im going to go look at laptops cause then when i go away i can take it with me maybe. im meeting delle this week i think to talk about going away cause she went 2 ywam. fun fun.

im not quiet sure what im running on right now, 2 hours sleep and im firing away. insane really

i made the same mistake 3 years in a row

id like to say how good is God. i had a great morning, the best jam ever, even though it wasnt jam. i got 7 jam kids to come put together a drama 4 next weeks service. they were so great. i had 2 hours sleep last night and i finished the scrpit this morning, but even with all that, it has got to be the best rehersal ever. not only did we get the piece done, we played some games, learnt about the difference between repentance and just saying sorry and we prayed. it was so good.

maybe i am a feminist, i dont know, but i think more than i feminist i am an anti-labelist. even though labels r good, and its more the person labelling that brings judgement with the label, i still dont like labells. mainly cause half the time i get labelled i dont know what the words mean, especially all those christian terms that just bother me. evangelical, pentecostal etc etc. but anyway, maybe i will label myself a feminist and then i can make anti boy remarks about how girls brains r more effiecent and everyone can just put it down to my feminist label. even though i dont think that a role of a feminist is to bag out boys.

i didnt mean its hard to love gay ppl, i was just trying to say that if im gonna say love and accept ppl despite their sin, it is alot easier to do so with gay ppl than rapists.

it was so cute last night while i was at work, the little girl i was looking after rang me up and asked to speak to me to tell me she was scared and couldnt sleep. i thought it was so sweet. i think being a mum would be fun, not right this instant obviously, there were many parts of being a fill in mum 4 the week that i didnt like, mainly getting up at 7am, but hayley ringing me at work was a good bit, a cute bit

more on that last post...its like what steve was saying one night at church, u have to meet peoples needs and everyone needs love, and if they arent accepting God's love then isnt it our job to show them God's love the best we can? i think that means loving gay people. thats a challenging thought cause its not like gay people smell and its hard to love them, but its challenging cause that means im saying i want to love rapists and thiefs and smelly people. its an easy principle to say, but i dont know how many of u know rapists personally, but they r pretty hard to love

the other night after work up at the pub, we were just sitting around 4 ages as we do, and karas friend from tafe came and joined us. kara and him were having a bit of a d&m about how his parents dont know he is gay and how his mum would kick him out cause shes a "full on christian". i only tuned in near the end of this conversation when it turned more into a how-much-r-christians-against-gay-people kinda disscussion. as i felt i should enter into this discussion bout now, i sorta just blurted out, im a christian. the look on his face. i mayswell have been his mother kicking him out, he looked so worried. i tried to explain that i thought he was tops and i loved him but yes the bible says stuff about being gay. he looked as though he felt alot more comfortable round me but his attitude towards me sort of changed, like i wasnt a proper christian or something. i think thats really sad that people have those views of christians. i know homosexuality is a sin and what not but loving someone doesnt mean u have to love what they do. i think sometimes its easy to get caught up in the politics of it all when really loving should come first.

jos home now, exciting stuff

i went to dinner in glebe tonight after work. it was heaps of fun. me, sonya and sarah decided to be random and go eat somewhere. first we were going to brooky maccas, then mummas kitchen, then, somehow, we ended up in this cute little arty farty italian resturant eating lots. we ate nachos, pizza, cheese things, AND cake. it was great fun.

work was poo but what can u do?

feels like it should be the end of busyness but its really only about to get busier with the video and work and drama and suposedly going away sometime. hmmm, i winge and talk alot about food on my blog

nothing to blog really. one of the kids im looking after is a 15yr old boy, im not really looking after him, im looking after his sister, he just happens to be in the same house at the same time. anyway, this morning, he was mnaking himself a sandwhich, as was his sister for school. he noticed there were no knives in the draw as they were all in the dishwasher. his sister found herself in the same position. now the 9yrold, opens the dishwasher and gets out a knife and begins washingit by hand, while the 15yrold boy uses a steak knife to spread peanut butter on his sandwhich. even at 9yrs old, u can see the way a girls brain works much more effiecntly than a boys

today i am going to be a good housewife and clean the house, do the shopping, feed the kids and then go 2 work. i might even fit in having a coffee with sarah.

id once again like to say how stupid that stupid word was.

if i am fired or get the guts to quit boost, i will not get another job. im writing it here, so i have made it public so i dont.

oh my goodness i havent been up this early in ages.

i forgot to say that the 3 letter adjective had no Y aswell. if the word is nth like howie says then i was never going to get it cause i have never heard or used that word.